Update and holiday prep~!

So Max ended up coming to the gym on Monday night just to see me (and work out, I hope which he did=) He drove in from Mtn. View after working from home all day. I saw him last night too, b/c John kept me here late with training! My coworker mentioned again yesterday that he thinks John is interested in me, AND Max. I think they're both just really great guys and we'll see what happens, but I'm beginning to think they maybe both be interested (which is funny because they know each other from the gym now and each thinks the other is cool--yeah lol). I've learned never to assume things but yeah...I've had some crazy dreams about both of them lately--Max seems to show up a lot especially.

So Max wants to go out for his birthday which of course I'm all about. John brought me treats from a bakery in SF yesterday which was really sweet--he was down there for an interview and he's actually back down there today =) good sign.

As for the housing search, I'm set up to see 2 promising places in Menlo/Palo alto later this weekend! Hopefully one of those will work out--the Monday night one was great too but she's not making a decision until the second week of December, so we'll see.

Tomorrow, having people over for thanksgiving dinner! And making my granddad's most amazing sweet potato casserole--yum!!

Just another Monday?

This morning, fun spin class. I didn't go into work until 1 so I got plenty of stuff and things done around the house.

So this weekend--Friday I worked late, Saturday went running and to brunch with John, then back to SF to have a dinner party for some friends. On the menu: grecian pasta, salad with olive oil vinegraitte, white wine, and truffle brownies for dessert. The conversation was great, and the cuisine wasn't bad either =) After that we went to see the new Bond movie and didn't get back to the apt until about 2 in the morning.

Then, sleeping in and cleaning up! I was excited because Mike did a really great job cleaning up for the dinner, and he's really been putting in a lot of effort and showing that he does want to make things work. What's important to me is consistency--will he keep it up? I have to give him credit for stepping up on that.

I'm looking at a place in Palo Alto tonight--a share with another 25 yr. old girl who sounds nice--we'll see how it goes!

Wisdom

No post yesterday, so double goes for today.

So John has become a constant presence in my life. Other people are starting to ask more about him and tonight Dave actually assumed he was my boyfriend! I do like him a lot--just not sure I'm ready to jump into something else when I still have one foot in something else. I make a point to never carry baggage from one relationship to another, and so far so good. And the thing is, John does have some baggage. He's been hurt a lot in the past and I think that's part of the attraction--wanting to "fix" it. But I know I can't--he can though. I can help but only do so much.

He told me tonight that I'm a really good thing in his life right now. In a casual way, but he still said it, and that means something. It was very genuine.

Lunch with my girl Danielle today! Lavanda in dtpa. And some shopping at lulu=) She thinks that John likes me a lot and wants to meet him to make sure he's worthy. Seriously, though--we're just friends!! Even though we talk and text constantly and go out and he bought me dinner last night--We. Are. Just. Friends. My rule is, that's true until someone says otherwise.

Max will supposedly be coming by the gym tonight and I haven't seen him since Monday. Danielle swears he has a big crush on me and I think that's just how Max is--super friendly. I know he likes me.

I went to see a place in Menlo yesterday--I'd be living with a sweet cat lady who reminds us of the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. She's totally mellow and the rent is less than what I pay now plus no driving. yippee! should I?? It's probably going to be my transition place for about 6 months until I find something that works a bit better. But this is great, being able to ride my bike to work !! =) I'll decide within the next 3 days (I told her I'd let her know Sunday). Still, let me know if you know of anyone looking for an awesome roommate.

More fun with surveys.

50 Random Questions

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?

In bed Sleeping!

2. Who are you in love with?

I'm not sure.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

No! But I used to have a fascination with hot pink crayons =)

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Pink!! where?? Lol--my Legally blond DVD case.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

Last weekend!

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

random! yes

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?

it's worth many times that

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?

Going to Auburn (up toward Tahoe) for a friend's bday

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

No but I finally finished watching Casino Royale !

10. Are you hot?

Like smokin hot?

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water!

12. What are you wearing right now?

Black lounge pants and a red tank top

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?

Car wash!

14. Last food that you ate?

Chocolate bon bons=)

15. Where were you last week at this time?

I think I was at dinner with my friend John post-work

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

Yes! a new scarf=)

17. When is the last time you ran?

last Wednesday around Bayfront Park

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?

wow...Olympic gymnastics!!

19. What is your favorite animal?

I love doggies. On the more exotic end bengal tigers are very cool.

20. Your dream vacation?

HAWAII. One of the few states I've never been to.Really anywhere out of the country I've never been, too...

21. Last person's house you were in?

Besides mine--Justin's condo!

22. Worst injury you've ever had?

Wow, there are plenty to choose from I think! I suppose when I split my head open on an antique bookcase. Ouch

23. Have you been in love?

Yes I have and I totally will be again I'm sure. No matter what I can't see myself being a jaded unbeliever in love--anything's possible

24. Do you miss anyone right now?

My family! I just haven't seen them in so long

25. Last play you saw?

Hard to remember...

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

Yummy food! haha

27. What are your plans for tonight?

Getting some rest! My body needs recovery

28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?

John b/c my texting was messed up

29. Next trip you are going to take?

Probably TAHOE !

30. Ever go to camp?

Yes I was a camp counselor for 3 summers!

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?

Yes, top 10% of my class

32. What do you want to know about the future?

I already know I will be happy. I don't mind being surprised (I will be anyway right!)

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

Yes, Romance by Ralph Lauren...I just found this YSL cologne I love (for guys) called P'our Homme...mmm

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?

January's that time of year

35. Where is your best friend?

Getting an Iphone!

36. How is your best friend?

Probably pretty happy to be getting an IPHONE!!

37. Do you have a tan?

Not really, I try not to get the sun damage

38. What are you listening to right now?

Paramore/cycling music

39. Do you collect anything?

Friends=) lol

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?

US Weekly

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

Oops I ran a red light a few years ago!

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

Probably and got hiccups!

43. What does your last text message say?

"I believe in letting things be, while still working toward what you really want. Life's too precious to withhold peace and a happy state of mind from yourself just because you don't have every external thing right this second"-me to a friend

44. Do you like hot sauce?

Not really I'm hot sensitive aka mouth on fire from mild peppers!

45. Last time you took a shower?

this afternoon after my third class of the day! (3rd shower)

46. Do you need to do laundry?

All the time! oh the life of a fitness professional

47. What is your heritage?

Half Greek / other half German with a bit of Swiss thrown in for good measure

48. Are you someone's best friend?

Yes =)

49. Are you rich?

Maybe not by the world's standards but I'm really happy.

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?

Almost falling asleep and getting texts from Max

Top Webhosting

Top Ten List - Best Myspace Quizzes

Too. Many. Classes.

My legs are tired. I've been on the bike too much!! Two classes yesterday, two today, for a total of 3.5 hours already this week. Then an hour tomorrow, 45 on Thursday, and 1.25 hours Friday. Then one each on Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Friday and practically when December rolls around I get a break! Time to sit the boss down and tell him the volume's killing me. Fini already!

Yesterday, spent time with Max helping him pick out a new bike. He called later and I helped him decide on a Bianchi steel frame (bien, very--the Italians know how to make steel-frame bikes and shoes!) with good components everywhere else. It takes a while to build a dream bike from scratch, which I think is next on the list. I get a text late that night, thanks so much for your help. You're the best. I noticed it made me happier than it should!

Then, John and I make lunch plans since I bailed on him last night. I snuck out of Sun between classes. It was really nice to get out of the gym! He's still in crisis over his ex although I'd actually downgrade it from a Category 5 to about a 2.5. So not bad, cut it in half. I was truly worried after MIA Sunday since it's SO out of the ordinary for him to be silent. I think he was bummed we didn't make it to running/brunch either, but next time. At least 90% of the time, I don't flake on plans =)

Time to get my new cycling mix finished and get some rest!

Someone's feeling me out for John

So John went MIA on Sunday and finally called and texted a couple of times today. He had a BAD day yesterday, so he's coming in tomorrow night to work out and maybe grab some dinner afterward. We were going to try to get dinner on Friday but that fell through because I was already back in the city and I wasn't going to make him drive that far. Oh well, I'll be back in PA soon.

I just had a new client come in who mentioned John (they've been friends for a long time) and she asked me if I liked him. Didn't quite know what to make of that =) Am I back in middle school? "Do you like him? Check yes or no!"

What a weekend.

Last night I went out with Max and his roommate, David and met up with some friends of mine at Ireland's 32. I was there to see a friend of a friend's band. The guys had all been drinking all day, I think. I had some wine before I left out, but not much, then a few amaretto sours. I like the girly drinks where I can't taste the alcohol! Lol. Not a big drinker.
Obviously these guys are, but they were pretty tame considering I was the girl in the crowd (all my girlfriends were out of town, unfortunately). So we got a late start, hit 32 around 11:30, and stayed till close at 2. Then the two of us and my friend Justin (another Sun guy) went to Justin's condo to do whatever. We decided to play rock band and the guys kept drinking (some rum called creschenza?? sp) They were impressed with my mad skills on the mike (I've been singing for a long time) and it was so much fun. I even tried the drums and wasn't half bad. We had a great time doing that and Max was all excited like we should start a band and I should sing lead and him play guitar. David crashed on the couch pretty much as soon as we got there. We were up until 6 AM (!!!!). I wasn't planning on that late of a night barely even going out, but it was fun.
Max just emailed insisting that we REALLY go out. I think he's still hung up on me saying I'd do 3 shots in a row and that not happening (last call happened RIGHT after that) so I've got to come through on my challenge. It's the weirdest thing that I can handle a lot of alcohol and be fine even though I barely drink (Except for some sweet wines!). Maybe I inherited a high tolerance--my dad WAS a raging alcoholic after all. I know I'll never be into alcohol enough to get to that point! I'm sure we'll go out again soon, though.

How to

Friends in the city!

Can't wait to go out (much) later! I finally slept (for 10 hours!!) and I'm ready to finish up with class, get some shopping done, and unleash some stress out in SF tonight =)

Life in between

Just got back from dinner at Escape/NY in the Haight with Mike. Not terrible, but uncomfortable. Mike doesn't want to move apart and it's hard to emotionally separate from him because of that. Of course I love him and part of me always will. He's my first real love and that's always going to be true. But unless I'm going to totally commit (eventually get married) I shouldn't stay.

He wants to keep living with me. This is hard. He's my best friend.

Laughing is an ab workout

I really have not laughed that hard in a while. I had three clients for group weight training today and they were seriously acting up for the whole hour. I got the nickname "torture queen" from a former client (she even got me a plastic crown to wear during sessions) and they've carried it on. The best moment was at end-of-session when we're going to do ab work and Nikola says something about "dear God, here we go to guantanamo" and Alberto has a satellite delay before he starts giggling uncontrollably and Arlene is out in la la land and says "whoo! I'M TIRED" after she's done like 2 sets of 10 pounds on one machine. Yep, they're a crazy bunch. So we go to guantanamo (aka weight room numero dos) and finish up. Nikola admonishes Arlene when she's being lazy. "Arlene! Arlene, they're called BIcycles, not Tricycles!" Exactly what I was thinking, thanks! I tell him he's subbing for me next time. He can even wear the crown.

John calls. What stands out is him telling me I'm a lot like his former girlfriend, same interests and personality. He also makes sure to point out that he is not Mike. Good or bad? I'll take it as a compliment for now =)

Ready or not

I wasn't expecting to do this already, but the conversation went unavoidably there after class tonight. Mike flat out asked me if I wanted to be with him. I was silent for a while and he became visibly upset as I tried to gather my thoughts. I told him I wasn't sure this was going to work. We both got upset. He wants to make it work. I'm moving to PA and he's staying in SF.

I'm really too exhausted to be having the conversation at all. Meanwhile both John and Max are calling, and I decide to go to bed to see if things look better when I wake up in 3 hours. First I call Max and we make plans for Saturday night. TG, I just need some space away from this apartment. I'm training John on Friday and then looking at some places, so we'll see what happens with that.

Wine party, of one

Wow, big yawn. I'm not THAT tired. I'm getting used to not sleeping as much. There's just too much going on and I don't want to miss out on it!

It was an interesting night (Mon.) at the gym. I had my client, and then my friend Max shows up clearly wined out (he says no one can tell, but I can). I get it because my friend Danielle, who works in the same building, had invited me to drink wine with them earlier. So Max tries to get me to spot him for a couple of sets and I'm telling him...hello low blood pressure, I don't want to have to peel you off the floor. He kinda gives up but whether it's the wine or whatever, he wants to stay at the gym until 9. Not a bad idea to let alcohol dehydrogenase do its work. So I stretch him and stretch a little myself (aahh, must do that more often). It's nice. I'm getting too used to Max being here all the time! It's great having close friends of my own, I have so missed that.

So Max goes to ride his bike home (40 minute window in which to avoid a BUI, which he manages). I'm just wondering if he made it ok when I get a text that he made it. This is while I'm at dinner with John. John tells me when he saw Max and I together last week and he didn't know what my boyfriend looked like, he thought it was him-whoa. He's the third person in the last week to tell me there's something going on there. I assume there's nothing going on until anything is actually said, but you know. Other people see things that you might not.

Next time I'm going to the wine party!

Time to train

Mike's out with his dad tonight. John's taking me to a late dinner after work. Now it's time to train one of my favorite clients. Time to forget about all this and work her out A game style !

Wine and dine, live and learn

So I knew tonight I really had to make it up to Mike, with what happened last night. I stayed late at work to train John, and he wanted to take me to dinner, but I had to be home by 8 with yummy food or I had the feeling I'd turn into a pumpkin! So I said no. Even though I wanted to, I couldn't.

Training John went well. He loves the workouts, loves that I push him, that he's ultimately pushing himself. I love seeing clients get exactly what they want out of training.

He tells me I've sacrificed a lot of time to be supportive of him while he's getting his life together. It's true. I'm glad to be here for him -- it's really meant to be. I completely believe in God and things happening for a reason. I've really wanted good friends for some time now, and he is definitely becoming that pretty quickly; we both benefit from the friendship. I mean, we were together when Barack Obama became President!

*Quick random election rant: Yay Barack, now why the hell did Prop 8 pass?? I don't get it. Regardless of your view on marriage, denying anyone rights is unconstitutional not to mention just WRONG, duh. I couldn't believe that!! I hope it gets overturned fast.*

Later, John asks how dinner with Mike went and tells me how much he appreciates how I've been supportive, more supportive than people he's known his whole life. He's been there to listen to me as I try to sort things out, too. I need to sort it out and have an important conversation with Mike very soon. I'm just not sure how it will go. I'm not sure how much more I'm willing to compromise.

Continued...

Tonight was pretty much my fault. John and I went running this morning in Palo Alto, did the brunch thing, I drove back to SF. Was going to hang out with Mike after showering up and getting a catnap. Then he fell asleep and I got bored so when John wanted to drive to SF to pick me up for dinner, I said yes. Big mistake. Now Mike wants to go, I'm not sure if that's okay and I'm confused. Will John be okay with that? Will he be okay with talking to Mike and dealing with the crap Mike is sure to give him? Ick. Bad idea. So I say no, you can't go to Mike. He's understandably mad and thinks I'm being ridiculous.

I go have dinner with someone who is not my boyfriend and drink sangria. While we're out the pressure is totally off of me and I feel free. Then I have to go back home and deal with the mess I caused. I'm genuinely sorry for putting Mike in that position. Things just feel all wrong.

We need to talk about what's truly been bothering me, and it's a conversation I'm dreading.

A kinda lonely Saturday

So today was good...taught Spinning class at 830am, but by the time I got home Mike was gone. Score for time by myself! We were supposed to spend time together later, but I gave up eventually he didn't get home until almost 9. I waited around the entire day just to get some quality time with my bf and finally tried to meet up with a friend, that didn't happen, and I got mad at myself for waiting around the entire day.

I tried talking with Mike last night about how I feel taken for granted and he says he's listening...but something's still not right. I can't make him change. I want him to do what's best for him, and I have to do what's best for me.

Ended up texting/talking with my friend John for hours.

I tried.

I talked with the bf (Mike) tonight about the whole "I feel like I'm letting you dictate my life" thing. He's not really getting it. He's trying to be supportive. I almost wish he would break up with me just so I don't have to do it. The crazy thing is, I do love and care about him--so what is this wanting him to break up with me deal??

It's just that, and I keep coming back to this--something's missing. I think I know what it is, and I think it's part of me being attracted to other guys. I need to figure this out though, because it just isn't fair to the one I'm still with.

Today my friend Max brought me more strawberries...yum! I'm still thinking about how good they were. It's easy to make friends with me when you have my favorite food and I'm blood sugar deprived=)

Today was...

Awesome. It was a gorgeous day out for the fun run, I ran the 5k and came in 7th overall, 1st girl. Very exciting. One of my best friends came in 1st girl in the 10k, yeahh D =)

On the home front, so much drama little mama...good lord. If you can't write about drama in your blog, then where? lol. My life is always crazy, seriously--stuff happens constantly that I'm just like..."how did I get myself into this situation?? I swear a week ago my life was totally different!" But I love living life on the dynamic. If I didn't, I wouldn't have moved my life out to Cali from ATL. I moved out here to live life on my own terms and be the person I want to be and find something real...love.

But now I'm tired of living my life based on what my boyfriend wants. I moved out of a perfect house in Atherton to be with him in a tiny SF apartment because I thought I had to to keep him happy. Never mind the crazy commute/long days becoming longer/not having time for any of my friends. I'm resenting making that choice and that's no good. But it's time to take responsibility for myself and I made that choice, not him. I wonder how he'll react when I tell him I want to move back to the peninsula, for now. SF is great but it's so far away from the things that matter to me at this moment in my life...

First of all

I LOVE writing. So naturally I'm stoked on this whole blog assignment for Internet marketing! Life's been incredibly busy for me lately and I love it. Before I get into that, though, here's some q.p.q. info on me, brought to you by my lovely 16 year old sister c/o myspace =) I used to do these all the time flashback to 10 years ago, lol.


Who are you "going out with"?
Good question!


Do you like the last person who texted you?

I do.


Who was the last person to call you?
Nichols, wanting to give me $300. yes!


Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
I've been spoiled by the glory of Southern hospitality--I like doors to be opened for me! I like to say please and thank you to everyone (and for everyone else to, too). I also luv sweet tea =)


Did you sing at all today?
Yes while running my errands it was all about singing to my Noteworthy cd and the A's--hearing Tyrus hit the high notes makes me smile every time.


When's the last time you argued?
Oh gosh, earlier today. I've been arguing with the bf a lot =(


Are you scared of spiders?
VERY



What do you think of Fergie?
When she's in shape she has awesome abs!!



Do you believe in love?
Always and Definitely


When was the last time you were outside naked?
Such a good question. So not getting an answer!


Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far?
Never


Do you miss anyone?
I do.


Do you love them?
I'll get back to you on that!




Who was the last person you laid in a bed with, besides yourself?
Mike, just trying to sleep =(




Where is the person you have feelings for?
I don't know! Not with me, boo




What color is your hair?
Chestnut




Is there someone you wanna date right now?
Yes ;) lol



Who knows a secret or two about you?
Danielle pretty much knows everything about me!



Are you too forgiving?
I don't think so, I'm pretty fair. Honestly, I enjoy telling people when they're being stupid



Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?

I had a coed bday party in like 6th grade. My guy friends tore the house up and mom exiled them for a while, oops haha


Do you have trust issues?
Not at all


If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you?
I believe in never holding back the truth, so yes!! what's the harm?


Are you a cuddler?
YES



Have you ever punched a guy?
I slapped a guy in 7th grade for grabbing my ass at a dance...yeah I'm a little hotheaded sometimes


Gotten in a car with people you just met?
Probably




Are you determined to have a better day tomorrow?
I really hope so!! Today was actually kinda rough =|



How has your day been?
yeah

Have you ever fallen backwards down a set of stairs?
Lol probably



Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
I found $40 once


Name someone close ​to you who smokes cigarettes?
ick no thank you.




When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
Go after them, it might take me a while, but I always try to keep in touch




Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
Of course



Have you had the best night of your life?
YES and I'll have many more of them


Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Dennis the MENACE



What color are your eyes?
daaaaaaark brown.



Have you ever been in love?
Yes I have.



Do you know someone who likes you?
Yeah =)


Have you ever had a friend named Fred, Frank, or Felipe?
None of the above!



Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Eek...it's not fun but I'm usually more on the other side of it.



Have you ever said I Love You and not meant it?
I doubt it. I don't ever want to lead anyone on



Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
Not so much, no...it's more about my life right Now


Do you have a lot of guy friends?
Quite a few...it annoys my bf but I've been friends w/most of them forever!



Do you have your tonsils and wisdom teeth?
Yes/No

Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
No, but my girls come pretty close!

If you're reading this far, I'm amazed!! THX =)